How to help your autistic child accept compliments
Children with special needs often struggle to accept compliments, we share some tips on how to make your child more comfortable when someone compliments.
How to help your autistic child accept compliments
Whilst being complimented is a lovely thing, many people struggle to accept compliments. This is particularly the case for people with autism. There may be many reasons for this – from not believing that the compliment is genuine or true to not knowing how to respond. If your autistic child hates compliments, here are some tips that might make them feel more comfortable when someone pays them one.
Avoid using too many words when complimenting
Children with autism often struggle with communication. Throwing too many words into a sentence when complimenting them might be overwhelming or misunderstood. For example, instead of saying “well done, you have done an amazing job drawing a house. Look at all the colours. You are such a great artist!” Simply, say “great drawing, well done!” Using the same, short phrases might be helpful, such as “well done” and “good job”.
Be direct and clear
Avoid idioms or metaphors that may be confusing. Simple, straightforward language is often best.
Consider their interests
Practicable praise when doing something practical can help your child to start accepting compliments and feel more comfortable with them. For example, praising them every time they brush their teeth or put their shoes on and take them off.
Think about their interests when paying them a compliment as this might feel more genuine and be better received. For example, if your child has a hobby, compliment them on doing something related to this.
Practicable praise
Practicable praise when doing something practical can help your child to start accepting compliments and feel more comfortable with them. For example, praising them every time they brush their teeth or put their shoes on and take them off.
Practice saying thank you
Social interaction for children with autism can make them feel uncomfortable and anxious. They might not know how to react when someone pays them a compliment and feel awkward. Practice recognising compliments and saying thank you when one is received. This can be verbally or using an AAC device or Makaton.
Use quiet praise using methods they are comfortable with
It might be that your child simply does not like verbal praise, and this might never be easy for them to hear or accept. Quiet praise, such as a ‘thumbs up’ or ‘high five’ might be a better way to communicate praise to them in a way that is more meaningful and comfortable for them.
Respect their response
We hope that these tips help as praise can be a fantastic tool in building confidence and self-esteem. However, it’s important to remember that your child does not think or feel the same way that a neurotypical child might, and that this is okay. Always do things in their own time, at their own speed and remember that we are all different, and that itself is a positive thing. The most important thing is that your child isn’t made to feel anxious or uncomfortable. Praise is letting them be exactly who they are meant to be.